Technology Quotes

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

We're only at the beginning of what we have to do here.

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.

Whenever two programmers meet to criticize their programs, both are silent.

Symmetry is a complexity-reducing concept (co-routines include subroutines); seek it everywhere.

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.

I remember turning in my first assignment in elementary school using the computer and the teachers were kind of confused that I had printed it.

Functions delay binding; data structures induce binding. Moral: Structure data late in the programming process.

The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad!

Never before in history has innovation offered promise of so much to so many in so short a time.

We've heard that a million monkeys at a keyboard could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

The Internet is a great way to get on the net.

Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all over my desktop...

An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.

Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.

If computers had invented humans as part of a BI program (biological intelligence), humans would have been tossed aside as barely having achieved perfect game play at Tic-Tac-Toe.

Today's meters are little computers.

Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

There are broken toilets left there, old computers and miscellaneous garbage. They are totally unsupervised. The recycling company is good, but when people want to dump trash, they dump trash.

For systems, the analogue of a face-lift is to add to the control graph an edge that creates a cycle, not just an additional node.

The computer is a moron.

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you.

The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.

Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.