Technology Quotes

Saying your OS is the best in the world 'cause more people use it is like saying McDonalds makes the best food in the world.

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology.

I am sometimes something of a lazy person, so when I end up spending a lot of time using something myself — as I did with Google in the earliest of days, I knew it was a big deal.

A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

The new information technology—Internet and e-mail—have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications.

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.

There is a chasm of carbon and silicon the software can't bridge.

Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.

In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.

Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by ‘they’, I mean ‘computers’. I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.

A friend called me up the other day and talked about investing in a dot-com that sells lobsters. Internet lobsters. Where will this end? The next day he sent me a huge package of lobsters on ice. How low can you stoop?

Where there is the necessary technical skill to move mountains, there is no need for the faith that moves mountains.

The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people.

You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on the continuing vitality of FORTRAN.

The most important computer is the one that rages in our skulls and ever seeks that satisfactory external emulator. The standarization of real computers would be a disaster - and so it probably won't happen.

Optimization hinders evolution.

We're only at the beginning of what we have to do here.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.