"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."

"Modern technology Owes ecology An apology."

"We're responsible for the creation of the PC industry. The whole idea of compatible machines and lots of software.. that's something we brought to computing. And so it's a responsibility for us to make sure that things like security don't…"

"Over time, it's becoming more and more understood by people that we're acting in their interests. And that's a very, very powerful thing for our brand."

"First, solve the problem. Then, write the code."

"Some say Google is God. Others say Google is Satan. But if they think Google is too powerful, remember that with search engines unlike other companies, all it takes is a single click to go to another search engine."

"There was a time when nails were high-tech. There was a time when people had to be told how to use a telephone. Technology is just a tool. People use tools to improve their lives."

"Prolonged contact with the computer turns mathematicians into clerks and vice versa."

"A program without a loop and a structured variable isn't worth writing."

"Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter."

"Functions delay binding; data structures induce binding. Moral: Structure data late in the programming process."

"Interfaces keep things tidy, but don't accelerate growth: Functions do."

"A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming, is not worth knowing."

"It is the user who should parameterize procedures, not their creators."

"The Internet has been the most fundamental change during my lifetime and for hundreds of years. Someone the other day said, "It's the biggest thing since Gutenberg," and then someone else said "No, it's the biggest thing since the invention…"

"If we believe in data structures, we must believe in independent (hence simultaneous) processing. For why else would we collect items within a structure? Why do we tolerate languages that give us the one without the other?"

"Saying that most of the computer was filled with personal images is simply not accurate."

"In the long run every program becomes rococo - then rubble."

"A program is never less than 90% complete, and never more than 95% complete."

"Like punning, programming is a play on words."

"The computer is the ultimate polluter: its feces are indistinguish- able from the food it produces."

"Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy."

"You can define advertising as the science of creating and placing media that interrupts the consumer and then gets him or her to take some action."

"One man's constant is another man's variable."

"Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies."

"Windows is just DOS in drag."

"Computation has made the tree flower."

"Systems have sub-systems and sub-systems have sub- systems and so on ad infinitum - which is why we're always starting over."

"In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up…"

"Moore's Law - The number of transistors and resistors on a chip doubles every 24 months"

"Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity."

"You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time."

"Spending an evening on the World Wide Web is much like sitting down to a dinner of Cheetos, two hours later your fingers are yellow and you're no longer hungry, but you haven't been nourished."

"If future generations are to remember us more with gratitude than sorrow, we must achieve more than just the miracles of technology. We must also leave them a glimpse of the world as it was created, not just as it…"

"It's hard for us in our stores to be a leader in technology."

"Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light."

"The only people who have anything to fear from free software are those whose products are worth even less."

"The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people."

"It is the framework which changes with each new technology and not just the picture within the frame."

"Microsoft has had its success by doing low-cost products and constantly improving those products and we've really redefined the IT industry to be something that's about a tool for individuals."

"Documentation is like term insurance: It satisfies because almost no one who subscribes to it depends on its benefits."

"As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such thing as a free variable.""

"Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free."

"Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame."

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."

"We are on the verge: Today our program proved Fermat's next-to-last theorem."

"Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest."

"The most important and urgent problems of the technology of today are no longer the satisfactions of primary needs or of archetypal wishes, but the reparation of the evils and damages by technology of yesterday."