"Optimization hinders evolution."

"Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning."

"Customers are still setting the technology agenda. Not just you, our customers, but your customers as well. What more and more are telling you is what kind of services they need, and how and when they want those services delivered…"

"The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it."

"Results eventually reach a point at which a finer mesh no longer yields an appreciable difference. This type of convergence study helps generate accurate solutions with meshes that are sufficiently dense and yet not overly demanding of computer resources."

"Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."

"The "Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it."

"Often it is the means that justify the ends: Goals advance technique and technique survives even when goal structures crumble."

"We will never become a truly paper-less society until the Palm Pilot folks come out with WipeMe 1.0."

"Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it."

"What does it say about our culture that personality is now considered a technology, a tool of the trade, not only in politics but in business and the professions? Has everyone been forced to become an actor? In sixteenth century…"

"The goal of computation is the emulation of our synthetic abilities, not the understanding of our analytic ones."

"The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord."

"Motto for a research laboratory: What we work on today, others will first think of tomorrow."

"A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before."

"In programming, as in everything else, to be in error is to be reborn."

"If Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell-check."

"Technology is a gift of God. After the gift of life it is perhaps the greatest of God's gifts. It is the mother of civilizations, of arts and of sciences."

"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer."

"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."

"One does not learn computing by using a hand calculator, but one can forget arithmetic."

"A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light."

"[Smart] is an elusive concept. There's a certain sharpness, an ability to absorb new facts. To ask an insightful question. To relate to domains that may not seem connected at first. A certain creativity that allows people to be effective."

"Build a program that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it."

"From then on, when anything went wrong with a computer, we said it had bugs in it."

"Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris."

"If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done."

"I think that it's always possible to have a great company if you have great ideas. I will say that since the web has become more commercialized, it also takes some good financial resources to build a great business, but…"

"It is a commonplace of modern technology that problems have solutions before there is knowledge of how they are to be solved."

"There are only two industries that refer to their customers as ‘users’."

"Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window."

"I like my job because it involves learning. I like being around smart people who are trying to figure out new things. I like the fact that if people really try they can figure out how to invent things that…"

"To go forward, you must backup."

"We’re gambling on our vision, and we would rather do that than make “me too” products. Let some other companies do that. For us, it’s always the next dream."

"We're seeing how the videos translate to the live shows and how the technology is really reaching kids."

"It was a pivotal moment in the history of computers and the history of advertising."

"In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear."

"The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."

"I am sometimes something of a lazy person, so when I end up spending a lot of time using something myself — as I did with Google in the earliest of days, I knew it was a big deal."

"A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages."

"Our business is about technology, yes. But it's also about operations and customer relationships."

"Security is, I would say, our top priority because for all the exciting things you will be able to do with computers.. organizing your lives, staying in touch with people, being creative.. if we don't solve these security problems, then…"

"Worth noting: running 'reboot -h' does NOT produce a helpful usage message."

"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."

"Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies."

"This is not a phone business. This is the smallest video camera, it's the smallest computer, smallest TV."

"WWW? Nice toy, but what a waste of time."

"Food for thought: A fully-protected-and-updated Windows box cannot, by definition, have an uptime of more than 30 days."